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  • THE OFFICIAL TACO-SNOTTING FAQ [slashdot.org]
    By The WIPO Troll [slashdot.org]

    What is "Taco-snotting?"

    "Taco-snotting" is a term used by one Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda [cmdrtaco.net], owner of the popular technology website Slashdot [slashdot.org], to refer to the practice of sucking off a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco doesn't care, and is rumored to actually prefer rape) and blowing the semen back out his nose onto his partner's (or victim's) face or body. Usually a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose, down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

    Good Lord. Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco asking me if he can Taco-snot me?

    I'm guessing you've received an email similar to the following:
    From: malda@slashdot.org [mailto]
    To: wipotroll@hotmail.com
    Subject: Hey, baby - jion me in a taco-snott! :)

    Hey, baby!

    Ever done a taco-snotting with anothar fellow geek? Its more fun then trolling Slashdot, trust me! all that talk you troll with about homasexual incest and stuff got me all horny and hot for you! Is it serius? Please tell me that itt is! If you want to get with me and my Slashdot bois, drop me an emale!

    ps- Please replie to me at horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com. I'd rather the guys at VA Linux are not seen this. :) :)

    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org [mailto])
    You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. Whenever CmdrTaco gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy being Taco-snotted. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, you're in trouble. So this time, he found you. Lucky you.
    CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

    I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

    Probably not. If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, he might end up tying you up in his basement to use you as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a vile practice known as a "circle-snot").

    What is a "Circle-snot"?

    A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among homosexual geeks. This is when CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other repeatedly with their gooey, hot, and sticky cum -- spooging their dicks all over each other's faces and pasty-white bodies until they're all covered head to toe with man juice. Roblowme usually provides plenty of extra lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease.
    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pasty-white geek bodies are sweaty and exhausted from all the passionate, homosexual revelry.

    Eww. Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

    Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention [geocities.com]. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake, but when I got to there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants and made me suck him, he performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm, then snotting my own jizz back onto my face, in my mouth, then again on my belly.
    CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) Convention buddies over to continue the snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my body.
    How did I finally escape? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my helpless body, they all finally went to sleep, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in geek jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with fat, pasty white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my entire body worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

    That's horrible. Does Jon Katz get involved in this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

    Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called "Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.
    As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

    ...Are you getting hard writing this?

    Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot? I promise I won't try and rape you or kidnap you and make you my sex slave or anything. I'm not like CmdrTaco or Mr. Katz; I only enjoy snotting on willing partners.

    What's that screaming I hear coming from your basement?

    Oh, that's just my little sister; I got her chained up down there. In fact, I just finished snotting all over her body. You should see her squirm when I spooge on her belly, lick it up, and snot it all over her face! She's such a feisty little 14 year-old bitch. Of course she's my sex slave, she's my sister. What else would she be good for? So, join me in a WIPO-snot?

    No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

     

    ________________________________________
    READER COMMENTS

    1. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601 [slashdot.org])

      No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)
    2. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
      by AbsoluteRelativity [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457 [slashdot.org])

      The WIPO Troll [foundus.com]
      Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.
    3. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632 [slashdot.org])

      Oh, man that's just sick !
    4. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604 [slashdot.org])

      TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P
    5. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
      by vikool [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495 [slashdot.org])

      what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured
    6. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
      by I.T.R.A.R.K. [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890 [slashdot.org])

      Where the fuck do I sign up?!

      - I throw rocks at retarded kids

      "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."
    7. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753 [slashdot.org])

      this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.
    8. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
      by rockwood [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746 [slashdot.org])

      OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.
    9. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701 [slashdot.org])

      dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
      duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.
    10. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266 [slashdot.org])

      horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com

      Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!
    11. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
      by egg troll [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024 [slashdot.org])

      +5, Arousing

      For more info check out this /. article [google.com]
    12. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891 [slashdot.org])

      WINNER>
    13. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887 [slashdot.org])

      I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.
    14. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412 [slashdot.org])

      you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!

      WIPO trolls > linux


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    $Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.7 2001/11/16 03:10:48 wipo Exp $
    --

    On Taco-Snot [slashdot.org]