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RiPe WiT d3cAy (5693)

RiPe WiT d3cAy
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Yo wassup, I'm CoCo, but don't be callin me loco, I'm sittin here chillin lika villain Bob Dylan and willin to do sum killin and im realin wit da feelin i cant ignore so come a lil closer now pretentious whore.. mwaha, what's up? I'm 5'10 180lbs 6pak (not lol) dark brown curly hair, chocolate brown eyes..(Whats not to like) I love to talk about anything, I play drums, listen to music (my life), write poetry, read poetry.. Astronomy rocks.. Emili, you do too! ^_^ If you have any questions.. just IM me on my AIM.. Lol, talk to you later folks.. Blah, SoRrY tO aNnOuNcE bUt DiS fReAkZ gOt 2 bOuNcE sO wIt An X aNd An O iM oUt LiKe WoAh!
Wednesday January 07, 04

Guess Who's Back? Back Ag- - No one cares, beezatch.

08:52 PM
Fuckin' christ.. I wrote a poem today.. well, a chaos raged free write.. I want to make it a song, but I can't find it so I can't share it with all you crackheads. (Well, 'cept for a chosen few) Went over to Emili's the other day.. why am I so stuck on her Felix? I don't like this feeling, especially when it's not mutual, i know she's not stuck on me.. her dogs are cute.. and she's such a perv.. and Hershey Kisses.. eww.. *Shakes his head* Yeah.. New Years.. sucked.. basically, except for me going skating from 7 pm to 6 am.. that was so pimp, i needed to do something really bad at art today.. but i couldnt, so i just wrote all my feelings.. i'm not a scary person, am i? I hope not.. but i scared this one girl with my free write.. *Sigh* I need an effing job.. so i can buy my own shit, or waste it on dumb stuff.. I want a drum set.. good set is about 799 or so.. yeah, where the fuck to come up with that.. Getting Chimaira tomorrow, hopefully.. that'd be nice.. i got a new Tekno CD from a friend today, that was good.. hmm. Felix, fucking help me.. There's an ex girlfriend of mine that won't leave me alone.. kind of.. i mean, we talk on the computer.. but just to say hi and leave basically.. why, all of a sudden out of nowhere, is she coming up to me and all this, she's (Single now too) "we" can do "whatever we want" what, she wants me? I don't get it, I've always been blind at times like these.. Argh.. i want my song.. it's deep.. and it is scary.. i don't think you'd like it, only a few have read it.. found it freaky.. but what the fuck ever.. i know people read my journal, and i forget then i put down thoughts that i dont really want to get out in the open. Oh well, anyways.. I'm.. whee right now.. And i need someone right now, but can't have them.. what the fuck is up with me? Why am i this way? Why cant i be happy without this person.. why do i feel that i could spend the rest of my life with her.. we were walking to VBE today.. and i was walking with her, and just teasing her.. ( *Cough cough* handlebars *Cough cough* ) heh, and then when she "wanted me to go" I was all like, "Oh so you WANT me to leave?" and she kids around and says "yep" So I got all "mad" and stuff, and didnt pay attention to her, she asked me to stop being so grumpy and then she walked away.. she almost left me.. if i hadnt stopped and ran my stupid ass over to her.. did she really believe i'd leave her without a hug? .. Hell no.. i wont.. not if I dont have to.. i want to hug her, and never let go.. and.. i want to tell her something.. but i cant.. not anymore.. but its still so strong in my chest.. and i hate it.. because i cant let it out no one i can talk to, but you, Felix.. thanks for being there for me .. ah, runny nose.. fags.. Yeah, me and my "mini club" is pimpin.. i wanna get Emili over here and dance in my room.. heh I wanna get her high off her ass, and see what would happen.. hee hee.. (j/k) I looked so sexy with my make up today.. i want to do that more often.. whew boy.. make me wanna cream myself *Cough* Yeah, and then I had a hat and some glasses.. i was so Pimp! Ahaha.. I wish, anyways, you crackas have fun readin my shit? Hope so, if not.. yeah, fuck ya'll niccas.. Anyways. I don't give a shit.. I'm going to go die now. Peace.
Thursday December 11, 03

Just another day

03:13 PM
Red Hat
A day, just a day, just another day.. *Nods his head to Linkin Park, Meteora, Easier to run.. then switches tracks to Faint* Hmm.. well, what's goin' on all? I just updated my shit... Oooh, hello Felix. How are you this afternoon? School was all right.. I failed my French test.. But I have an A so its okay, as long as I dont fuck up up again.. Yeah, i was write Kt is mad at me. Someone told me again.. Oh well I fuckin' give up.. on ..Everything it seems.. Except for Emili, because I'll never give up on her. There's something on her mind, and I don't know what it is.. and she doesn't want to tell me.. and I can't/won't force her to tell me.. It's just that, I might be able to help.. *Sigh* Or maybe not.. I'm not the fuckin' smartest person in the world anyways, so a lot of things I say are just worth shit, and don't change a thing.. Yeah. I want to frickin' just get to the house. I don't want to wait anymore.. we're supposed to bring some shit there today.. Man, I see Eddy and Vanessa always making out or kissing and cuddling.. and I wonder why Emili and I don't do that.. well, we cuddle.. somewhat.. I guess I just need to develop some fucking balls and go in for the kill? Yeah.. if you (you know who you are) hate me, why do you bother reading me shit? *Shruggs and mutters something about hypocrites* But.. I mean I can't even give her a kiss before she leaves.. and I was going to today.. I just.. I don't know, got nervous or some shit.. I've kissed her 2ice.. and I've known her for 3 months and 18 days.. that's pretty sad.. but i mean.. am i the only one supposed to make the move? and Megan told me that she thought I was flirting with that girl Nikki or w/e.. ..No offense.. but HELL No I don't like her.. she's cool and all.. but people say Jenny is annoying? I don't even know this person.. and don't like her *Shifts to Breaking The Habbit* "I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream. I don't know why I instigate and say what I don't mean I don't know how I got this way I'll never be all right so Im breaking the habbit breaking the habbit tonight I'll paint it on the walls cause im the one that falls ill never fight again and this is how it ends" ..Lovely.. I think That's a great idea.. but I can't.. and wont't, only for my love.. If it wasn't for her, I'd probably wouldn't BE here right now.. I was walking by the park (like I do everyday) (Creative Playground) and thinking about when I really MET her.. it was the last day of school.. Melissa, Nikki, Jenny (I think) and Her were all there.. I was there with someone.. Evan I think *snarl* If he comes back and starts more shit, I swear I'll kick his ass again..summer was bad enough, i hated it.. but w/e. Yeah, anyways I was there and I saw them ..we only talked for a few minutes.. before they left.. I remember telling myself how I could never get a girl like Emili.. or that she'd ever like me.. I wonder if I just died that day, and am still dreaming.. I hope not.. or if I am, I just never want to wake up and find out that she doesn't even know my name still.. *Sigh* ..I love this journal.. and I think I've written enough for one day.. Ooh, wait, one more thing.. I swear by the end of this year, I will fucking MURDER Mrs. Danskin.. with my chainsaw.. hack her head off, slice open her gut, then hang her off a bridge with her entrails wrapped around her neck.. that scares me.. *Shiver* sorry for ppl with weak stomachs.. Yeah, I'm done.. *Flips her off again* ..Fuckin' whore.. *Nod* Bye all.. Enjoy. Sidenote: (Thank you for being here for me, Felix.. you're a great help.. =) ) Mm, be sure to read my other journal too.. I wrote last night when I couldn't sleep.
Wednesday December 10, 03

Uh, like, rap, like cheesy rap, like yeah

11:43 PM
*Still feeling stalked* *Sigh* Evenin' Journal.. I need to give you a name... I think Felix will do. *Nod* My journal is now named Felix. Praise him, or you shall be chased down and hacked with a chainsaw, beezatches. Yo, Colin had some freestyle chit da utha day with his brah, JameZ, ya'll! Mm.. we got the keys to our house yesterday, Tuesday.. December 9, 2003. Like you all care. *Scoffs* Hmph. Whatever. I just want to fuckin' move in already..*Sigh* ..Yeah, Katie says she "doesn't care" and the whole deal "doesn't matter" But I know that's shit.. Man, I have to fuckin' deal with Danskin tomorrow. I just wanna.. UGh! This morning she talked shit to one of my friends about me.. behind my back. First of all, if you're a teacher, you can't do that shit.. So lay off me! ..*Snarls and flips her off* *shakes his head and leans his back against the wall of his cold secluded Shadowed corner, knees bent and eblows resting upon them* ..Man.. I think I pissed Emili off.. I hope not =( I hate that.. She wasn't feeling that happy or something.. so I told her "Don't make me preach to you" ..but it seems it's the only thing that helps sometimes, whether either of us like it or not..and she said "W/e" again.. and I hate that.. it just makes me think she's going to do something bad. She promised me she wouldn't and I trust her.. But people slip.. *takes in a deep breath and releases it slowly, staring at the floor, a blank expression on his face* I just don't want to lose her.. I couldn't fucking call her tonight because of this damn work.. And I'm still not done.. I'll finish it tomorrow morning.. if I ever get to sleep.. which I doubt.. I couldn't stand losing Emili.. I can't I can't I can't I CAN'T! On the bright side, I got an old friend to talk to me again.. *Shrugg* Little things make me happy.. Stuff like that I mean. Special shout out to her : Stay cool, LiZ. Drummers kick ass! Yeah, I made a new AIM s/n ...would you be surprised to find out that it's RiPe WiT d3cAy ? Didn't think so. Add me, anyone that cares.. The rest of you.. I'll find you with my chainsaw at hand.. Yeah, well.. I'm going to go intoxicate my self with cyanide or arsenic.. or both. =) I shall see you all when I stop residing in my reality of self-hopelessness. Sweet nightmares. Happy demon hunting under all of your beds. Except for a select few. I love you Emili.. Don't be mad! =*( Heh.. Good night, Felix! It was nice chillin' witcha, mate. ..Bloody hell, have I turned Aussie?
Tuesday December 09, 03


02:39 PM
Slash Plugins and Themes
...That's what I said. "Goddamnit" I hate this.. My day.. was ugh. I bombed my frickin' math test.. I know it. I make one test great (Chem) and I fail another one miserably. I hate this.. I had Emili worried about me because I was feeling shitty. I'm sorry love, I didn't mean to not tell you right away either, I just didn't want to to talk to anyone at that time.. I won't be sad/mad as long as you aren't either... And don't worry, I'll stop.. since you promised me.. Then I promise you, I'll stop.. NO MORE. And that means you too. I have to frickin' do this Chemistry time line.. that's due TOMORROW.. I bet I'll bomb that too. Oh frickin' well. ...Yesterday, in art.. I was chillin' after not having the best morning.. and I started rapping for the hell of it, and Katie was throwing some journal at me.. well I got pissed and threw it back, but I wasn't aiming at her or at anything, just for it to go back.. And it hit her on the cheek.. and I didn't fucking mean to! I'd never hit a girl on purpose! I wouldn't even dream of it... I'm being too loud with my typing in the library.. I WOULD NEVER HIT A GIRL.. Or anyone else.. not really.. I'm soft.. *Sigh* Goddamnit! It's a fucked up world, a fucked up place, everybody's judged by their fucked up face.. Limp Bizkit, Hot Dog. Listen to it.. great song. I'm sorry I hit her, but I can't do anything about it NOW, can I?! ...And she tells me to drop it.. ARGH! *Screams in rage and thrashes around his padded cell, throwing himself into the wall* ..Damned restraint jacket doesn't help me much either.. Well, I really don't know what else to write.. But I better get started on that damn project. Yeah.. Beat me up later, all! ... (-_-) You homos.. Emili, I love you..
Sunday December 07, 03

*staggers to the puter chair and starts typing exhaustedly*

10:29 PM
Red Hat
Yeah.. what's going on? Oh yeah, writing about my day(s).. Not too bad.. Emili and I cleared some things up... promised me something, and I just hope to ..whoever, that she keeps it.. I don't want to slip, and I don't want her to slip.. for all of you people that have been reading my journal from school.. uhh.. thanks I guess.. You can leave comments if you want.. You can bitch and scream and yell and tell me how much of a bastard I am. But it still doesn't change things in the end. >=) Sorry. Emili.. I love you.. Two days until I get the keys! And that week I'll finally be moving! Weekend I'll be still at home while you're out partying'..Keg parties, and gettin' stoned.. Lmao! And I can't come! :'( Well anyways.. the 19th will be OUR day.. just you and me.. I dont care what my mom says, Ill close the door if I want.. Lol.. we can go for a walk around the neighbor hood too. No reason why, just for fun, I guess..*shrugg* *nods his head to The Used* mm..Emili, this is your doing.. got me listening to all this Punk.. but that's good, now I have a variety.. I've listened to other oldschool punk.. But it's different now.. Yeah, no idea wtf i'm writing about, lmao. I'm high off of enchiladas.. or h/e the hell you spell it.. Grr.. Me and Katie.. are I dunno.. I feel not doing too well.. because.. oh who knows.. I'll never know whats going on.. and I hope she finally found someone who will treat her right =) Ooh.. Last night was so pimp.. Got to go skating.. fom 5-11 .. my feet hurt like FECK! ..Yeah, this little girl was hitting on me, it was SO funny. ..Emili said she'd come and rape me when I move in.. when I'm sleeping.. I better lock my doors.. I hope I don't forget one.. *Hint hint* lol! j/k ..Hmm, what else to write about.. I love these journal things, i can write w/e I want, and no one can tell me different.. I just don't like that whole "(This will go down on your permanent record)" shit.. Sounds like they "have me on file" and can stalk me or some crap.. But whatever.. Ack, I hate that word. *head bangs to the music* well umm.. hmm. I was rated an 8, 9, and 10 today! yay! Copy and paste that link if you wanna rate my hott self! ;-) You know you wanna! Right, anyways, reality check *Nod* .. I think I'm off.. I love you Emili, rest of ya'll ..Peace out cause dis FrEaK is BiZoUnCiN outta herre! Oh yeah, I started break dancing during the megadance thing last night, did this headspin thing, and it looked SOOO feckin' cool!!!.. and everyone was rooting for me, even the D.J.. only problem was.. I didnt do it on purpose.. so no skrills for Colin.. Lol! Well yeah, good night all! *Head bangs even harder, knocks himself out and lies unconscious on the floor until he wakes up and writes in his journal again*