Fuckin' christ.. I wrote a poem today.. well, a chaos raged free write.. I want to make it a song, but I can't find it so I can't share it with all you crackheads. (Well, 'cept for a chosen few) Went over to Emili's the other day.. why am I so stuck on her Felix? I don't like this feeling, especially when it's not mutual, i know she's not stuck on me.. her dogs are cute.. and she's such a perv.. and Hershey Kisses.. eww.. *Shakes his head* Yeah.. New Years.. sucked.. basically, except for me going skating from 7 pm to 6 am.. that was so pimp, i needed to do something really bad at art today.. but i couldnt, so i just wrote all my feelings.. i'm not a scary person, am i? I hope not.. but i scared this one girl with my free write.. *Sigh* I need an effing job.. so i can buy my own shit, or waste it on dumb stuff.. I want a drum set.. good set is about 799 or so.. yeah, where the fuck to come up with that.. Getting Chimaira tomorrow, hopefully.. that'd be nice.. i got a new Tekno CD from a friend today, that was good.. hmm. Felix, fucking help me.. There's an ex girlfriend of mine that won't leave me alone.. kind of.. i mean, we talk on the computer.. but just to say hi and leave basically.. why, all of a sudden out of nowhere, is she coming up to me and all this, she's (Single now too) ..so "we" can do "whatever we want" what, she wants me? I don't get it, I've always been blind at times like these.. Argh.. i want my song.. it's deep.. and it is scary.. i don't think you'd like it, only a few have read it.. found it freaky.. but what the fuck ever.. i know people read my journal, and i forget then i put down thoughts that i dont really want to get out in the open. Oh well, anyways.. I'm.. whee right now.. And i need someone right now, but can't have them.. what the fuck is up with me? Why am i this way? Why cant i be happy without this person.. why do i feel that i could spend the rest of my life with her.. we were walking to VBE today.. and i was walking with her, and just teasing her.. ( *Cough cough* handlebars *Cough cough* ) heh, and then when she "wanted me to go" I was all like, "Oh so you WANT me to leave?" and she kids around and says "yep" So I got all "mad" and stuff, and didnt pay attention to her, she asked me to stop being so grumpy and then she walked away.. she almost left me.. if i hadnt stopped and ran my stupid ass over to her.. did she really believe i'd leave her without a hug? .. Hell no.. i wont.. not if I dont have to.. i want to hug her, and never let go.. and.. i want to tell her something.. but i cant.. not anymore..
but its still so strong in my chest.. and i hate it.. because i cant let it out
no one i can talk to, but you, Felix.. thanks for being there for me .. ah, runny nose.. fags.. Yeah, me and my "mini club" is pimpin.. i wanna get Emili over here and dance in my room.. heh
I wanna get her high off her ass, and see what would happen.. hee hee.. (j/k) I looked so sexy with my make up today.. i want to do that more often.. whew boy.. make me wanna cream myself *Cough* Yeah, and then I had a hat and some glasses.. i was so Pimp! Ahaha.. I wish, anyways, you crackas have fun readin my shit? Hope so, if not.. yeah, fuck ya'll niccas.. Anyways. I don't give a shit.. I'm going to go die now. Peace.